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Management Insights

Management Humor - 6

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.--Billiam Coronel
Never get into a fight with an ugly person. He has nothing to lose.
Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.
The statistic on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.--Rita Mae Brown
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.--Rich Cook
My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.--Marcel Achard
I didn't accept it. I received it.--Richard Allen
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.--Bertolt Brecht
Hookt On Fonicks Werked Four Me!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.--Ellen DeGeneres
Byron Elbows' two rules of human nature: No one is as weird as they think they are. Everyone is weirder than others think they are.
Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.--Albert Camus
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.--George Carlin
Journalism consists largely I saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.--G.K.Chesterton
We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.--George Gobel
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.--Carol Leifer
A job worth doing is worth complaining about.
I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my lucks, and dodging deadlines.
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.--Aaron Machado
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Pick-Up Lines

Pardon me, but I am writing a phone book - can I have your number?
Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!
Is there a rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for.
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
I couldn't help myself. They were so big and round and beautiful, I just had to touch them! Then she started screaming "MY EYES!, MY EYES!" and ruined the mood.
Those are some nice jeans you have on. Ya think I cant talk you out of them?
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

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IIM experts research, develop and disseminate management-best-practices and learned-lessons from the leading management gurus. For advanced executive education and training opportunities, please refer to IIM Management Training Courses


		Management Insights Management Humor - 6 Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.--Billiam Coronel Never get into a fight with an ugly person. He has nothing to lose. Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up. The statistic on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.--Rita Mae Brown Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.--Rich Cook My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.--Marcel Achard I didn't accept it. I received it.--Richard Allen He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.--Bertolt Brecht Hookt On Fonicks Werked Four Me! You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.--Ellen DeGeneres Byron Elbows' two rules of human nature: No one is as weird as they think they are. Everyone is weirder than others think they are. Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.--Albert Camus Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.--George Carlin Journalism consists largely I saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.--G.K.Chesterton We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.--George Gobel I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.--Carol Leifer A job worth doing is worth complaining about. I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my lucks, and dodging deadlines. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.--Aaron Machado On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. Pick-Up Lines Pardon me, but I am writing a phone book - can I have your number? Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me! Is there a rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? I couldn't help myself. They were so big and round and beautiful, I just had to touch them! Then she started screaming "MY EYES!, MY EYES!" and ruined the mood. Those are some nice jeans you have on. Ya think I cant talk you out of them? Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. Page: 1 \| 2 \| 3 \| 4 \| 5 \| 6 \| 7 \| 8 IIM Executive Education and Management Training IIM experts research, develop and disseminate management-best-practices and learned-lessons from the leading management gurus. For advanced executive education and training opportunities, please refer to IIM Management Training Courses

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