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Management Hall of Fame: Leading Management Gurus

Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends and Influence People  (1888-1955)

  • "Don't criticize, condemn, or complain; give honest and sincere appreciation, and arouse in the other person an eager want." (Dale Carnegie)
  • "Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." (Dale Carnegie)

Key Work
Dale Carnegie's main focus is on dealing and motivating people successfully. His common sense approach is easy to understand and apply in both personal and business relationships. Dale Breckenridge Carnegie an American who developed several famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills.
He wrote one of the most popular books in history, and taught millions how to achieve self-confidence and interpersonal social skills. Dale Carnegie became an icon of 20th century America through his book and his classes. His simple, yet effective, techniques for winning friends and influencing people have proven enduring and become part of the American culture.

Key Insights

The simple yet most powerful realization is that criticism is counterproductive and will not to change or motivate people. In his view, people who are criticized tend to respond by justifying themselves and condemning the critical person in return.

Publication of How to Win Friends and Influence People. A must read for every businessman and sales professionals. His rules on how to win friends

  1. Show a genuine interest in other people.
  2. Be happy and positive
  3. Remember that people love hearing the sound of their own name
  4. Listen to other people and develop good listening skills.
  5. Talk about others' interests rather than your own.
  6. Give others a sincere sense of their importance.

How to win people to your way of thinking:

  1. To get the best of a situation, avoid arguments.
  2. Always listen to others' opinions and never tell anyone they are wrong.
  3. Admit it if you are wrong.
  4. Show friendliness.
  5. Make statements that the other person can agree with.
  6. Let the other person talk more than you.
  7. Make the other person feel that an idea is their own.
  8. See the other person's point of view.
  9. Show empathy for others' ideas and desires.
  10. Infuse some drama into your ideas.
  11. Appeal to the better nature of others
  12. Finish with a challenge.

How to change people without arousing resentment:

  1. Start with genuine praise and appreciation.
  2. Give people a reputation to maintain.
  3. Draw attention to people's mistakes gradually.
  4. Encourage people. Show them that their task is easy to correct.
  5. Admit that you have made mistakes and then talk to other people about theirs.
  6. Don't give direct orders but ask questions.
  7. Never humiliate anyone, and let people keep their pride intact.
  8. Use plenty of genuine praise and encouragement when there is the slightest improvement.
  9. Suggest what you want them to do and make them happy about it.

How to become a good Public Speaker

  1. Preparation - Do not memorize the talk word for word, as you will be more likely to forget it.
  2. Delivery - Dress the part for your speech. Smile, and make sure you are clearly visible to your audience.
  3. Show respect and affection for the audience
  4. Let the first sentence capture their attention. Examples of techniques to help you to achieve this are:
    • start with a striking incident or example;
    • state an arresting fact;
    • ask for a show of hands;
    • use an exhibit;
    • do or say something to arouse suspense;
    • promise to tell the audience how they can get something they want.
  5. Your talk should have some marked form of closure. Summarize what you have said, then use a finalizing climax or close of some sort that is appropriate within the context, for example:
    • make an appeal for action;
    • pay the audience a sincere compliment;
    • raise a final laugh;
    • use a fitting verse of poetry or a quotation.

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