Happiness Law 1: The Sheep
The sheep state of mind
About 20 years ago, a friend of
mine told me that "we, people, are like sheep, the sheep goes through life
following other sheep to discover at the end of its life that the other
sheep were following it"
Are
you doing what makes you really happy? Or are you following the other
sheep?
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Happiness Law 2: Change
Happiness is
Change. If it is not working, change it.
I
don't care what you have been told and what are your programmed values; If
your job, relationship or
lifestyle is not working for you then fix it If you are not able to
fix it, change it. Life is just too short to do something or be with
someone who is making you miserable. Don’t worry about your image or what
others will think of you, it’s your life not theirs.
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Happiness Law 3: The Pursuit of Unhappiness
Happiness is not
a Pursuit. Forget about the
“Pursuit of Happiness” and you’ll become happy.
An
Indian guru once told me
that happiness is like a
butterfly, if you chase it, it will run away, but if you relax and sit
still, it will land and rest on your shoulders.
I’m not talking
about seeking knowledge, money or fame, if that is what you like to do, then
by all means feel free to pursue them...I’m talking about Happiness!
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Happiness Law 4: Happiness Is Not A Goal
Happiness is not
a goal. Either you are happy or you are not.
It
does not matter who you are, where you are or what you
do, either you are happy
or not. Happiness is a state of mind. Regardless of your goals in life or
where you are going, you can travel your life's journey happy or unhappy.
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Happiness Law 5: Perfection
Happiness is
Tolerance. Nothing and no
one is perfect. To be happy let go of that idea and forgive yourself and
others
If you join the
perfectionist’s club, be ready to live most of your life disappointed,
offended and lonely. Nothing is more conducive to your own happiness than
tolerance. I’m not asking you to turn your cheek the other away, I’m
advising you to let go and go on with your life, not for others' sake but
for yours
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Happiness Law 6: Mistakes
Happiness is
Learning. Live through your
mistakes not with them
Do I
need to explain this?
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Happiness Law 7: Attachment & Detachment
Attachment is the
cause of all sufferings, so is detachment
Buddha was a great
mind, but like all great minds, he was not always right. It is true that the
more you invest your emotions, time and money in something (or in someone)
the more you’ll feel the pain when you lose them. This is a great insight.
He and his disciples realized that life is full of changes, so they chose to
detach themselves from life to avoid the experience of pain. The other side
of the coin, if you disengage from life you will miss most of life, the good
and bad. What's ironic is that many Buddhists become attached to detachment
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Happiness Law 8: Action
Happiness is
Action. Action is the
most potent instrument of change
If you
want a change, take action. Some people can help you find happiness, but
keeping it requires practice. If you want to be happy practice
being happy.
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Happiness Law 9: Inertia
Happiness is Momentum.
Understand the
mental law of inertia
The
law of mental inertia follows the same dynamics as the law of physical
inertia. It takes more effort and force to move an object than to keep it
moving. Once the object picks speed, it becomes much easier to maintain the
movement. In fact, once it is in motion, it will take more force to stop it
or reverse its direction.
The mind behaves in the same way, it will take a strong initial effort to
move it in the direction of happiness, but once it picks up momentum, it
becomes almost effortless and better yet, it will take more force to stop it
or reverse its direction. If you understand this, it will help you not to
quit too soon.
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Happiness Law 10: Modeling
Happiness is Modeling.
Understand the
law of mental modeling
We
learn through imitation (modeling) when we are kids and even when we are
adults.
If you want
to become happy chose your
role models wisely.
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Happiness Law 11: Mental Slavery
Happiness is a Freedom of
Mind. Beware of mental slavery
Physical slavery is outlawed, but how about mental slavery? Even the most
advanced societies are practicing mental slavery and their main tool is mind
programming. Never underestimate the power of mental programming.
How else do you think, suicide
bombers blow themselves up believing that they are going to heaven? How else
do you think, governments send their citizens to war killing themselves and
hundreds of thousands of innocent people, while having them thinking that
they are brave and patriotic? If mind programming can send people to their
own deaths, it can be used to change your life.
Set mind free!
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Happiness Law 12: Examine your mind
Happiness is a Program.
Understand and
use the power of mental programming.
Your
government, media, parents and teachers
are
doing it all the
time. It's used in
everyday advertising, propaganda, church and schools. Whether we like to
admit it or not, we are a product of our environment and its social
programming. You think you are a free thinker? Think again! This is not some
evil government conspiracy, they are doing their best they know how, but the
key question to ask is; "Is their programming making you happy?” If not,
then it’s probably time to re-examine your life. Aristotle, the great Greek
philosopher, said once, "An unexamined life is not worth living" He could
not be more right. It's time to deprogram your negative mind scripts and
re-write your own positive scripts to serve your best interest.
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Happiness Law 13: Association
Happiness is an
Association. Understand the
mental law of association
Your
actions, emotions and feelings
(good or bad) are a result of your mental associations.
Advertisers and political media understand that best. They edit images and
verbal messages to associate positive experiences with their products,
people and agendas while associating negative images with their competition.
If you are not happy, it is time to re-examine your mental associations. It’s
time to reconsider changing your associations about the things, people and
agendas that are making you and others unhappy.
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Happiness Law 14: Thinking Patterns
Happiness is
Pattern. Your mind thinks
in
patterns, therefore you behave and feel in patterns.
Have you noticed how
many people repeat the same mistakes over and over again or change jobs
every few years? Have you noticed how people attract friends of similar
characteristics and behave the same way to most people? If your behavioral
pattern is not working for you, you need to dismantle negative thinking
patterns and build new positive ones.
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Happiness Law 15: Positive and Negative
Feedback Loops
Happiness is a Cycle. Exit the vicious cycles and enter the virtuous
cycles
Positive thinking leads to stronger motivation, which leads to hard work,
which leads to success, which leads to more motivation. Get the picture?
The opposite is also true. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively,
break the negative cycle by thinking and doing something positive. This way
you get out from the negative-feedback loop and get yourself into a
positive-feedback loop that keeps you going strong.
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Happiness Law 16: Information
Happiness is a
Decision. Wrong decisions
are based on lack of information or misinformation
Ask
yourself, do I have all the information before I take this particular
decision in my life?
Did I validate my information? If you are unhappy now, then either you have
been misinformed or you do not have the necessary information to make the
right decisions. Always examine the evidence, take time to evaluate your
actions and reactions.
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Happiness Law 17: Instincts
Happiness is
Awareness. Contrary to the
popular opinion, don't trust your instincts
Be Aware!
Your instincts are as good as your programming and the information you are
fed. You think your instincts and emotions are good for you? Then explain
why many people are suffering from AIDS, because they acted on their
instincts and had unprotected sex with untested partner. Explain why a
husband spends the rest of his life in jail, because he got angry and killed
his wife. Realize that your emotions are not always right and your logic can
be faulty. Need
evidence? How is your life
doing so far? Are your instincts making your life a happy one?
I’m not asking
you to lose spontaneity or be inhibited, on the contrary I’m asking you to
be aware and dare. I’m asking you to develop your awareness and install a
healthy mental programming, so that your instincts and emotions serve you
better
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Happiness Law 18: Open Mind
Happiness is an
Open Mind, the more you open
your mind the more you'll enjoy life.
Beware
of stereotypes, prejudices and narrow thinking about things, experiences and
people, they can trap you
in a box and make you miss out on much of what life has to offer you.
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Happiness Law 19: Friends
Happiness is People. If you want to be happy,
associate with happy people.
Because we learn by association and
imitation, whether we like it or not, we adopt similar characteristics of
our family members, partners and friends, especially after long periods of
companionship. So choose your companions carefully. If you want to become
happier, I recommend you befriend supportive, successful, optimistic and
cheerful friends. This does not mean that you drop or leave good friends if
they suffer from a misfortune, on the contrary your role is to support them.
The more support you give the more allies you'll build. What I'm saying is
to avoid harmful people with continuous negative thinking patterns. You know
them by the constant criticism of everyone and everything, they tend to have
hate, resentment or anger towards other people. You see them on TV, at
school, work and even churches, mosques and temples.
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Happiness Law 20: Gratitude
Happiness is a Gratitude. Adopt an attitude of gratitude
You probably heard this before and
it’s so true.
Remember that you did not come to life on your own merit, it was an act of
love from someone else. You did not stay alive by your own merit, you are
alive today because of the acts of love from so many other people. You are just
lucky to have a chance to experience life. No matter what others say or do
to you, you still have so many of life's gifts to experience. Just having
this attitude will help you see things brighter and make you happier.
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Happiness Law 21: Media
Happiness is Information. Choose your sources of
information carefully
I mean mainly your TV, books and
newspapers. I'm not advocating a closed mind, it's OK to explore or research
different points of views, even when they are negative, but make sure that
negative information sources are not most of what you watch. Avoid negative
media, horror movies, court shows, hate authors, war voices and religious programs prophesizing the end of the world. They'll poison your mind and destroy your
trust in the goodness of other people. They will build fear, anxiety, hate,
resentment in your heart and incite negative reactions. All of that for
their own commercial gain or worse they are so deep in the negative
thinking cycle they can't see the good side of life and other people.
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Happiness Law 22: Have Fun
Happiness is Fun. Exercise, listen to happy
music, watch sitcoms and have fun
Make sure to treat yourself a few
times a week (if not every day). Don't let work exhaust you and takeover
your life. Prolonged physical and mental exhaustion can lead to severe
stress and depression. Taking a break, not only helps relax your mind, but
keeps you healthy, energizes you more and makes you look better.
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Happiness Law 23: Focus on Your Strengths
Happiness is Focus. Focus on your strengths
It helps and it pays higher returns
on investment. Write down what you are good at and what people tell you that
you are good at, then leverage your strength in your career and hobbies for
a better and more enjoyable lifestyle.
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Happiness Law 24: Manage Your
Money
Happiness is Money. Take care
of your Money
Money provides you a comfortable
lifestyle, and affords you more time and opportunities to do what you like.
Take care of your money and your money will take care of you.
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Happiness Law 25: Be Realistic
Happiness is Reality. Be realistic, no one has it
all
While some people are more
successful than others, no one has it all. When someone succeeds
phenomenally in one area, there is usually a heavy price to pay and most
probably it will be at the expense of another area. What is the use of
working all your life to become the richest person in Babylon, if you have
lost your youth and time at the office? By all means go after your dreams,
but always remember, the most rewarding success is leading a happy and
balanced life. Let go of the unrealistic ideas (such having it all) and you
will become happier.
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Happiness Law 26: Lifecycles
Happiness is Adaptation. Understand the law of
lifecycles and adapt to it.
Everything in life goes through cycles, the four seasons, the plants,
businesses, economies and countries. The same is true for your
relationships. Do not hold on to unrealistic or romantic notions such as
"forever" or you'll suffer unnecessarily. Traditions, people, families and
relationships change and sometimes grow apart. Do not resent them or resent
yourself, change is life and life is change. While it is ok to fight for
what you believe in and hold on to those you can, do understand that when
this is not possible, the best way is to let go, so you do not miss the
benefits of the new cycle.
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Happiness Law 27: Say No. Say Yes
Happiness is Yes & No. Learn to say No. Learn to say
Yes.
Learn to say no to demands that pressure your life without a fair reward in
return. Learn to say yes to yourself and to people who love you and care
about you.
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Happiness Law 28: A Smart Heart!
Happiness is a Smart Heart.
Think Smart! Think Heart!
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Happiness Law 29: Wisdom
Happiness is Wisdom.
To be wise analyze, do not blame, sympathize.
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Happiness Law 30: Now!
Happiness is Now.
You've heard it before and it's right. Do not waste now, by thinking about
the regrets of the past or worrying about the future. Enjoy your life now.
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